Thank God

Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
Lalu : Thank God ! I was born after that otherwise, I would have died before becoming prime minister..

Judge and Kid

Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
Kid: No, my mummy beats me.
Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.
Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?
Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!