Barganing

Santa Singh came to New Delhi and wanted to do shopping at Janpath. His delhiite friend told him that the prices are usually hiked up and he should bargain for half the price.

Santa Singh went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.

Santa Singh asked for Rs.1000.

vendor told he can give the stereo for Rs.1800 for which

Santa Singh told no,no only Rs.900.

Vendor said "ok, i will give it for 1500 Rs" and our

Santa Singh bargained for Rs.750.

It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation and thinking that this stupid Sardar is not going to buy anything.

He is just wasting my time. He said he will give the stereo for free.

Santa asked whether he will give two.

Vendor now realising that the sardar is out to have some fun and really not interested in buying anything. Vendor agreed.

Santa said now he wants to have the whole shop.

Shaadi Barbadi

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai
Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap
Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran
Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:(
Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma
Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky
Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

The positive side of life

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free triparound the sun every year.

How long a minute isdepends on what side of thebathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you;the more you have,the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors youdidn't even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are lateare often much jollierthan the people who have to wait for them?

Most of us go to our gravewith our music still inside of us.

If Walmart is lowering prices every day,how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world,but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much funto only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:some are sharp, some are pretty,some are dull, some have weird names,and all are different colors....butthey all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one whocan enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, andknow that someonewho thinks you're greathas thought about you today!

Let your friends know how great they are,send this happy message to someone special today!

Logic...

Billy Bob and Billy Joe, two rednecks from Arkansas, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. Billy Bob went to see Professor Homer, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Billy Bob.

Professor Homer answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weedeater"?"

I sure do!" answered Billy Bob.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" Billy Bob responded in awe.

Professor Homer continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house.

"Impressed, Billy Bob shouted, "AMAZIN'!!!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Yes! She's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Billy Bob was now obviously catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said Professor Homer.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascination' thing I ever heard tell of. I cain't wait to take this here logic class of yours.

"Billy Bob, proud of the new world opening up to him walked back into the hallway, where his friend,

Billy Joe, was still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin"? asked Billy Joe.

"Math, history, and logic," replied Billy Bob.

"What in tarnation is logic"? asked Billy Joe.

"Let me give you an example,

" smiled Billy Bob. "Do ya' own a weedeater"?

"No," replied Billy Joe.

"You're queer, ain't ya'?"

The Different sex's at a drive-up ATM

His ATM

1. Pull up to ATM

2. Insert card

3. Enter PIN number

4. Take cash, card, and receipt

5. Drive away

Her ATM

1. Pull-up to ATM

2. Back up and pull forward to get closer

3. Shut off engine

4. Put keys in purse

5. Get out of car because you're to far from machine

6. Hunt for card in purse

7. Insert card

8. Locate grocery receipt in purse with PIN #

9. Enter PIN

10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes

11. Hit "cancel"

12. Reenter Correct PIN #

13. Check balance

14. Look for envelope

15. Go through purse for ink pen

16. Make out deposit slip

17. Study instructions again

18. Endorse check

19. Make deposit

20. Make cash withdrawal

21. Get back into car

22. Check makeup in mirror

23. Look for keys in purse

24. Start car

25. Check makeup again

26. Start pulling away from ATM

27. Stop

28. Back up to machine

29. Get out of car

30. Retrieve card and receipt

31. Get back into car

32. Put card in wallet

33. Put receipt in checkbook

34. Enter deposit and withdrawal into checkbook

35. Clear space in purse for wallet and checkbook

36. Check makeup

37. Put car in reverse

38. Put car in drive

39. Drive away from machine

40. Drive 3 miles down the road

41. Release the parking brake

Sardar And Population

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.

Sardar Divorce

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?

Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar Cricket Match

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Sardar Jokes

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?


O Yaar,what ever u order first will come first.

Sardar and his Lunch

An American, an Italian and Santa Singh were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...

They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get Pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too".

Santa Singh opened his lunch and said, "Paratha and dhal again.If I get paratha and dhal one more time I'm jumping too."

Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.

The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too.

Santa Singh opens his lunch, sees paratha and dhal and jumps to his death also...

At the funeral.....

The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!

The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the Santa Singh's wife...
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

Sardar - Doctor

Santa spoke fanatically into the phone ” My wife is pregnant and her contractions are just two
minutes apart!"
“Is this her first child ?” the doctor asked.

“No, you idiot !” Santa shouted “ This is her husband!”

Sardar and Lottery Ticket

Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs back.!

Sardar - Freedom Fighter

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh.. we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh plied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution butan old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.

The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

Sardar and Servant

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining.


Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Professor - Sardar

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.

U know Why?

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar Jokes

"Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.................

Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"

Sardar- Branch Manager

Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.

Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager.

Sardar Jokes

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead person's relatives beat him. why?

He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Sardar Jokes

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was?

.. . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!