JOKES

Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
Kid: No, my mummy beats me.
Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.
Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?
Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

Laloo: Doctor, I don't remember anything, sometimes on road I even forget if I am going to office from home or going back to home from office.

Psychiatrist: In such a condition, you should check your tiffin. If it is empty then you are going to home, if it is full, you are going to office.

Sent from my Nokia phone

Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

US President: Wow! How many?

Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

Sent from my Nokia phone

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."

"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.

A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

Sent from my Nokia phone

There were three nuns talking and one nun said, "I was cleaning the priest's chamber, and I found some Playboy magazines under his pillow, so I burned them." The nuns looked at each other and the next one said, "That's nothing, I found a box of condoms in his drawer, so I poked little holes in them with a nail." The third nun suddenly jumped out of her seat and said, "Oh my god! I got to go."

Sent from my Nokia phone

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum
milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein brandy milao to nasha
chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Sent from my Nokia phone

Khidki se dekha to raaste pe koi nahi tha
Khidki se dekha to raaste pe koi nahi tha,
Raaste pe jaake dekha,
to khidki pe koi nahi tha!!.

Chingari angare se kam nahi hoti
sadgi singar se kam nahi hoti
ye to dekhne ka nazaria hai dost
warna Kamwali bai bhi Katrina se kam nahi lagti.

Ek aurat ki 8 larkia'n thi aur sb ka naam 'Chandni' tha.

Kisi ne pucha- Tum kisi ek ko kese bulati ho?

Aurat- Lo kr lo baat, Sab k sur-name alag hyn... =P ;)

Girl n Boy were siting alone in d garden..

Girl-Do something which makes my heart beat faster..

Boy-Runaway ur father is coming!!!

Sana mai Aj tm sy nhe Mil sakta,
Pehly b abu ny Mjy pkr lia tha tmhary sath,
Or Ab agr tumhari ami ny pkr Lia to wo mUjy mar daly ge,
Es sy behter hai k tm apny bhai jo is wqt sms parh rha hai os ko smjao k behnoi k love letter nahe parhty...

Ek pathan t.v par bomb rakh kar pakistan ka semi final dekh raha tha b.v na pocha k ya bomb kis liya

Pathan:agar ya haar gay to puri team ko bomb sa ura do ga

A Girl Tells her Mom:

"I Want Some Fresh Air,Can i Go 4 a Walk ?"

Mom: "Alright,But Ask Ur Fresh Air To Leave U Home By 9 PM" ! :D
Mom Of da Milenium:

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That's terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."

Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO" !!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!

2 Lovers Park Mein Bethay Aankhon Mein Ankhein Daal Kay Chips Kha Rahay Thay.

Girl Shrma Kay Boli:

Ap Itne Ghor Se Kya Dekh Rhe ho?

Boy: Thori thori kha "Pukhiye.".

A boy of 1st class to her teacher.
Do you like me?
Miss. So sweet.
Student: When should I sent my parents to your home?
Miss. Why?
Student: To talk about us.
Miss: What are you saying?
Student: For tuition.

राय – वह इकलौती वस्तु जिसका देना अधिक सुखद है उसके लेने की अपेक्षा.

शादी :

यह मालूम करने का तरीका कि आपकी बीबी को कैसा पति पसन्द आता।

ईमानदार नेता :

वह जिसे एक बार खरीद लिया जाए तो फिर खरीदा हुआ ही रहे.

Fizaye Kehti H Pyar Karo.
Bahare Kehti H Ankhe 4 karo..
Magar Gharwale Kehte H
Abhi Umar Km H Bete..
Pahle exam Paas Karo

Doctor to Minister : Mantriji aapki biwi maa banne wali hai.
Mantri soch me pad gaya
Doctor : Kya hua mantrijee
Mantri : Samajh nahi aa raha sala kaun FARZI-MATDAAN kar gaya..!!

3 Idiots Best Line –
"Neend ke piche mat bhago.Agar bhagna hai to padhai ke peeche bhago.Neend jhak mar ke tumhare peeche aayegi!"

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Santa : Mujhe mobile me MP3 songs dalwane hai.
Mobile Shop Wala : Memory card hai kya?
Santa : Nahi memory card nahi hai, RASAN CARD chalega?

Santa : Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai?
Banta : Google Kaur.
Santa : Ye kaisa naam hai?
Banta : Yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai!

Santa – Yaar Banta tune poore toilet me potty kyu kar di?
Banta – Yaar ye mobile bhi na!
Santa – Kya hua?
Banta – Tune "IDEA" ka ad nahi dekha
"WALK when u TALK"

12 Boys planed to propose a girl

10 came with a rose..
But 1 came with a ring – Thats confidence

But what about the other 1?
Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Ek khargosh roj lohaar ki dukan pe jata aur kehta : GAAJAR hai?
Lohar inkar kar deta.

Ek din Lohaar ko gussa aaya aur usne Khargosh ke daant tod diye.

fir..

fir kya…

Agle din Khargosh aaya aur bola…

GAAJAR KA JUICE HAI KYA???

Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha
Aadmi : Kyu maar rahe ho?
Sasur : Meinie ise Hospital se SMS kiya.
Tum baap ban gaye ho. Isne apne sare friends ko forward kar diya!

Kash pyaar ka insurance ho jata,
Pyar karne se pehle premium bharwaya jata.
Pyar mein wafa mili to theek warna,
Bewafaon pe jo kharcha hota uska claim to mil jata

Marne pe hum dono ko jannat mile,
Yeh hava yeh bahar mile,
SMS karne mein kanjusi mat kar mere dost,
Pata nahi jannat mein signal mile ya na mile.

Meri prem kahani ka kya ajeeb ending tha,

meri prem kahani ka kya ajeeb ending tha…,

Maine propose kia SMS se,

Kambakth woh uski shadi tak pending tha…!

Tajmahal kisi ke liye ek AJOOBA hai,
To kisi ke liye pyar ka EHSAS hai,
Hamare tumhare liye to BAKWAS hai,
Kyun ki ki roz badalti humari MUMTAZ hai.

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण

1. सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

२. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.

3. नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.

4. अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.

5. हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक यु का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.

6. नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.

7. भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.

8. सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.

9. महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और वीरू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan….

Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo

Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti

Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe

Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor

Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga

Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

शादी :

यह मालूम करने का तरीका कि आपकी बीबी को कैसा पति पसन्द आता।

पड़ोसी :

वह महानुभाव जो आपके मामलों को आपसे ज्यादा समझते हैं।

नेता :

वह शख्स जो अपने देश के लिये आपकी जान की कुर्बानी देने को हमेशा तैयार रहता है।

ईमानदार नेता :

वह जिसे एक बार खरीद लिया जाए तो फिर खरीदा हुआ ही रहे.

राय – वह इकलौती वस्तु जिसका देना अधिक सुखद है उसके लेने की अपेक्षा.

मनोचिकित्सक :

जो भारी फीस लेकर आपसे ऐसे सवाल पूछता है, जैसे आपकी पत्नी आपसे यूँ ही पूछती रहती है.

“गाली क्या होती है ?” -

क्रोध के समय मुख से निकले शब्द अथवा शब्दों का समूह ……, जिनके उच्चारण के पश्चात् व्यक्ति के हृदय को शान्ति का अनुभव होता है.

1baar Snta paise jama krne Bank gya

Officr-Ye note fata h dusra do

Snta-Me apne A/c me jama kr rha hu,fata karu ya Nya Tuje kya matlab h bey?...

Bnta-Agar TmharA 1-Lakh ka Enam nikAl aaye to
kyA karoge
Snta-Main Pagal Ho jauga Aur wo 1-Lakh rupay apne Ilaj
par Lagauga

toofaan me ek macchar udte hue ek nariyal ped pe chappak gaya...
jab toofaan tham gaya toh macchar pasina poch kr kahta hai
"uf aaj main nahi rahta toh is ped ka kya hota?"

Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai?
Panipuri Wala !
Kaise?
Kyu Ki Ladki Kuwari Ho Ya Married "BHAIYA" Hi Bulati He.

Dipu To Pappu-Tum Do Roti
Ek Sath Kyu Khate Ho..??

Pappu-Dr. Ne Mujhe Double
Roti Khane Ko Kaha He..

BHIKHARI:MAAI,1 RUPIYA DE DE!!
3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!
MAI: 1 RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?
BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA,
DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA H

Santa-Mujhe 4 baje jaga dena
Naukrani-lekin mujhe to time dekhna nahi ata.
Santa-Tum jaga dena,time mai khud dekh lunga..

Girl:Kya kr rahe ho
Boy:Makhiya mar rha hu

G:Kitni mari
B:3male 2 female

G:Kese pata?

B:3 Beer bottle pe the aur 2 Phone se chipki thi.

School Me Aag Lag Gyi
Sb Bache Khush Thay K Ab Skul Nhi Aana Padega Pr 1 Bacha Udaas Tha
Sir-BetaWhy R U Sad?
Bacha-Sir Ap Zinda Kaise Bache

Premika:Kya Baat Hai?Bahut Udas Lag Rahe Ho?
Premi:Maine Abhi Bhaut Hi Karunamay Book Padhi He
Prmk:Kaunsi Book?
Premi:Bank Ki Pass Book

Santa begum k liye Chhapal lene gaya
Dukandar:Santa ji size to batao
Santa:Yaar wo to mai bhul gaya
aisa karo mere kamar pe nisan dekhlo

Teacher:
Snta Tumhari Attendance Bohat Kam He,
Tum Exam Me Nahi Baith Paaoge.

Bnta:
Koi Baat Nahi Mera Bhai Khade Khade Exam De Dega.

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.
Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija

Munna: Meray paas aik buri khabar hai, aur aik buhat hi buri khabar hai teray wastay.
Patient: Acha to pehlay buri khabar suna daal.
Munna: Apun k paas jo teri report pahunchi us mien likha tha k teray
paas sirf 24 ghantay hain zinda rehnay k liye.
Patient: Sirf 24 ghantay. is say buri khabar kya ho sakti hai.
Munna: (Jadu ki Japhhi Dalte Hoauy) Mien kal say teray tak pahunchnay ki koshish kar raha hoon.

Circuit, "Bhai… bole to bachpan
mein apun 20th Floor se gir gaya tha."

Munna Bhai, "Aisa kya? To fir
bach gaya tha ya mar gaya tha?

Circuit, "Abhi jaane do na bhai itni purani baat…
Bole to ab apun ko jyada yaad nahin!!"

Ab itni night ko apun tere ko
kisi film ki kahani sunane
k liye msg to karega nahin.
Common sense ki baat hai k
tere ko GUD Night bolney ka hai!

Chal ludak le..

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.
Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.

MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Abhi bole to bhai ko tere SMS nahi aarele,
Bhai ka khopdi boht tight he,
Bol nikalu kya tera luky draw?
bole to do-char SMS chipka dal mamu.

Sender… Circuit Bhai!

Tera bhot memory aa rela tha,
Itna tem ho gela hai,
tere ko dekha bhi nai,
Akha life mei tere jesa 1 item mila apanko,
miss to karega

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!!

MUNNA BHAI : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

Munna:
Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette
aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.

Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera
operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves
teray andar hi reh gaye hain.

Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do.
Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.

Can v do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting

reply me soon!

urs lovingly

"MOSQUITO"

If girl in luv,
Her parents ask:
who is dat IDIOT?
If boy in luv,
His parents ask:
Idiot,who is dat girl?

MORAL:No matter
whoever in luv,
Boyz r always Idiots...

Teacher;
Homework Kiun Nhi Kiya?

Stdnt;
Sir,Light Nhi Thi

Teachr;
To Mom Batti Jala Lete

Student;
Sir,Maachis Nhi Thi

Teachr;
Machis Kiun Nai Thi

Student;
Pooja Ghar Me Rkhi Thi.

Teachr;
To Wahan Se Le Aate

Student;
Nahaya Hua Nhi Tha

Teachr;
Nahaye Kiun Nhi Thy

Student;
Pani Nhi Tha Sir

Teachr;
Pani Kiun Nhi Tha?

Student;
Sir Motor Nhi Chal Rahi Thi.

Teachr;
Ullu K Pathy Motor Kiun Nai Chal Rahi Thi ?

Student;
Sir Bataya To Hy Light Nhi Thi

Boy : What Is Ur Name
Girl : Q Bataon, Me Tumhein Nahi Janti
Boy: Na Batao Me Konsa Tumhen Apni New
HONDA Car Main Bitha K
5 Star Resturant Le Jane Wala Tha
Girl: Nida, B.Com Final Year, Punjab College
College Timing 8am To 1pm,
Friday Timing 8 To 12pm
Sunday Off
Aati Abu K Sath Hun
Wapsi Pe Akeli Hoti Hon

Jun 29, 2011

Jun 28, 2011

Jun 27, 2011

Jun 24, 2011

Jun 23, 2011

Jun 21, 2011

Jun 18, 2011

Jun 17, 2011

Jun 14, 2011

Jun 7, 2011

Jun 4, 2011

Jun 3, 2011