1 Makrani Bohat Der Se
Ek Haseen Larki Ko Ghoor Rha Tha,
LARKI:
Kya Dekh Rahe Ho?
Makrani:
Hum Soch Raha Tha
K Agr Tum Hamara Maa Hota
To Hum B Khubsurat Hota.
May 31, 2011
hasin ladki
lambi umar
AURAT K ZINDAGI LAMBI,
Hansti, Muskurati or
Tension se azad q hoti
Hai?
..
Y?
..
Very simple..
.
.
.
Q k Aurat ki bevi nhi hoti.
nokar
Maalik Nokar Se:
Is Mehngai K Dor Me
Parathay Pe Is Qadar Ghee?
Kya Hogya Hai Tumhe?
Noker:
Maaf Kijiye Ga
Ghalti Se Mera Pratha Apke Pas Agya Hainokar
bas
Siasatdano Se Bhari Hoi Ek Bus
Driver Se Beqabo Hokar Pul Se Nichi
Gir Kar Ek Keht Mai Ja Gusi.
Kisan Ne Awaz Sunkar Ghar Se Bahar Aya
Or Sari Siasatdano Ko Dafnaya..
2 Din Baad Police Wahan Ayi
Khasta Hal Bus Dekni Ke Baad Kisan
Se Pocha "Kia Sare Siasatdan Mar Chuke The?
Kisan Ne Kaha Nhin G Kuch To Keh Rahe The Ki
Wo Zinda Hai Magar Jinab Aap Ko To Pata Hai K
Siasatdan Kitna Jhoot Bolte Hain
May 30, 2011
delhi hai
नरक में बहुत से लोग आराम से सो रहे थे!
भगवान: ये लोग तो नरक की गर्मी में भी आराम से सो रहे हैं?
यमराज: दिल्ली के हैं!
भगवान: ये लोग तो नरक की गर्मी में भी आराम से सो रहे हैं?
यमराज: दिल्ली के हैं!
santa jokes
एक आदमी की मौत के बाद उसका एक दोस्त उसकी पत्नी के पास आया और बोला: क्या मैं उसकी जगह ले सकता हूँ?
पत्नी: मुझे कोई एतराज़ नहीं कब्रिस्तान वालो से एक बार पूछ लो!
पत्नी: मुझे कोई एतराज़ नहीं कब्रिस्तान वालो से एक बार पूछ लो!
santa jokes
Santa's son and two of his friends were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship.
He said, 'My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can bowl a 90-kmph fast ball and run and catch it just after it crosses the wickets at...
santa jokes
Banta was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall.
In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.
Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about...
santa jokes
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by Banta, carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning', said Banta. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high powered...
santa jokes
Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up.
'Your dog is overweight,' the vet said. 'You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing...
santa jokes
Santa came home earlier than usual, when his wife, Jeeto's lover was still in the apartment. She hid her lover in a closet, and served dinner. As they ate, something rustled in the closet.
"What's that?" Santa husband asked.
"Nothing, darling. Just jackets."
After a while, they again heard some noise in the closet.
"What the hell is that?"
"I'm telling you, just jackets."
A few minutes later, the noise sounded once more.
"I'll check it," Santa said. "You'll regret it if it's not jackets."
Santa yanked the closet's door open. Inside, he saw a man who held a pistol. Santa quietly closed the door, and said, "Indeed, jackets, darling."
"What's that?" Santa husband asked.
"Nothing, darling. Just jackets."
After a while, they again heard some noise in the closet.
"What the hell is that?"
"I'm telling you, just jackets."
A few minutes later, the noise sounded once more.
"I'll check it," Santa said. "You'll regret it if it's not jackets."
Santa yanked the closet's door open. Inside, he saw a man who held a pistol. Santa quietly closed the door, and said, "Indeed, jackets, darling."
May 26, 2011
sukra hai khuda ka
एक जहाजी लड़ाई के जमाने के तजुर्बे सुना रहा था।
"एक रोज मुझे एक तारपीडो सीधा हमारे जहाज की की तरफ आता हुआ दिखाई दिया!"
"पर शुक्र है खुदा का कि वह हमारा ही निकला!"
itna lamba
संता - "मेरा घर इतना बड़ा है कि लोकल ट्रेन आराम से चल सकती है !"
बंता – "बस ! अरे मेरा घर तो इतना बड़ा है कि एक कोने से दूसरे कोने पर फ़ोन से बात करो तो रोमिंग लगती है… !"
baat khatam karo
दरोगाजी ने अपने बेटे से पूछा – "इतने कम नंबर क्यूँ आये ? आज से तेरा खेलना, टीवी देखना सब बंद !"
बेटा – "पापा, ये लो 100 रुपये और बात को यहीं पर खतम करो….. !"
stuady
संता किसी लड़की के घर रिश्ता लेकर गया।
लड़की के मां-बाप बोले – "हमारी बेटी तो अभी पढ़ाई कर रही है।"
संता बोला – "कोई बात नहीं जी, हम एक घंटे बाद आ जाएंगे।"
kya cheez hai
संता - क्या दारू पीने से खांसी जाती है ?
बंता - क्यूँ नहीं जायेगी ? जब मेरा घर, खेत, बैंक बैलेंस सब चला गया तो तेरी खांसी क्या चीज़ है ?
propkar
एक आदमी जो तैरना नहीं जानता था, गलती से गहरी झील में गिर गया. डूबते-डूबते उसके हाथ में एक मछली आ गयी.
उसने पूरी ताकत से मछली को पानी से बाहर फेंका और बोला -
"जा ! कम से कम तू तो अपनी जान बचा ले … !"
ek funy line
एक funny लाइन -
आओ धावक की तरह,
बैठो योगी की तरह
और जाओ राजा की तरह …..
इसमें funny क्या है..????
ये स्लोगन एक toilet के दरवाजे पर लिखा हुआ था…. …….
kirayedar
एक मकान मालिक नए किरायेदार को मकान दिखा रहा था.
मकान मालिक - " इसका किराया 700 रुपए होगा."
किरायेदार - "ठीक है, लेकिन आपके मकान में तो चूहे नाच रहे हैं !"
मकान मालिक - " तो 700 रुपए में क्या शीला का नाच देखना चाहते हो … ?"
roming
संता ने कस्टमर केयर फोन किया और बोला - "मेरी भैंस सिम खा कर भाग गई !"
कस्टमर केयर - "तो मैं क्या करूं ?"
संता - "मुझे यह बताओ कि कहीं रोमिंग तो नहीं लग रही है ?"
May 25, 2011
3 chhipkliyan
3 chhipkliyan diwar pe chal rahi thein.
Ek ne gana shuru kiya
Jaisey hi gana band kiya baki ke do gir padein!
Bolo kyon?
Stupid eis liye
Baki dono ne tali bajai…
animal jokes
One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.
The fish said to itself, "If that fly comes six inches closer, I'll jump up and have myself a meal." Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, " if that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and i'll catch the fish and have myself a meal."
As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and i'll shoot the bear."
animal jokes
Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.
Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…
Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.
Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.
Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.
Aur bola, "Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??
maa banne wali hn
Ek bar ek chitti ne Hathani ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathni behos ho gayi.
Phir kisine chitti se pucha ke tune kya kaha?
Chitti Boli: Maine itna hi kaha ke "Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon!"
letter
Post Master in a post office told to a woman,"You have to put another stamp on this letter as it is too heavy.
The woman replied, "How would an extra stamp make it lighter."
secret of success
A very successful partner in a big firm had a peculiar habit. He would go to his desk everyday, open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. This continued for many days.
His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity.
Then, one day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break.
They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside – it said – "Left is debit and right is credit."
hot shot
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
i m the boss
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss".
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, She wants her sign back!"
what time is.
Best Business and Office Jokes
Office Memo
Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Continue Reading »
What time is it?
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
learned english
Once a peon of an office trying to speak in English to a guest. Then the guest appreciate him and told "From where you have learned to talk English?"
The peon replied "I have learned, 'You understand?' from our MD, 'I love you' from the TV and 'Good Morning' from our receptionist madam.
Submitted by: Sohela Mahmood
succes
A very successful partner in a big firm had a peculiar habit. He would go to his desk everyday, open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. This continued for many days.
His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity.
Then, one day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break.
They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside – it said – "Left is debit and right is credit."
sadi ka jhagda
Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se: Meri unse ladai ho gayi!
Maa: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Beti: Woh toh thik hai par ab "LAASH" ka kya karu?
He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo……..I've got Windows!"
khada kar dega
Krish: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!
Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?
Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.
santa jokes
Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!
cycle
Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, "Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???"
Pathan herat se… "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida."
teacher to student
Teacher to a student: "Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya."
Student – He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan.
sardar jokes
Sardar: Mere podho ko pani de ramu.
Ramu: Sir barish gir rahi hai!
Sardar: Bahana nahi chahiae, chata leke ja…
frnd
Ek samay do bahut milne wale dost rahte thay. Lekin ek din ek dost ka maut ho gaya aur police investigate karne ke liye aaya aur uske dost ko sawal poochne laga…
Police: "Tumhara dost kaise mara?"
Sardar: "Pata nahi sahab, woh bola mere pet mein chuhe kud rahe hai toh maine usko chuha marne ki dawa khila di."
santa jokes
Santa to Shopkeeper: – Mujhe India ka flag dikao.
Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya,
Santa: – Isme aur colour dikhao.
sarab
Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!
sardar jokes
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha ha ha!
Police: Kyu hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Main toh subah 8 baje tak sota hoon!
car
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
May 24, 2011
एक रेलवे-स्टेशन की बेंच पर एक वृद्ध सज्जन बैठे ट्रेन की प्रतीक्षा कर रहे थे. तभी एक नौजवान लड़का वहाँ आया.
लड़का - "अंकल, टाइम क्या हुआ है."
वृद्ध सज्जन – "मुझे नहीं मालूम."
लड़का – "लेकिन आपके हाथ में घडी तो है ! प्लीज बता दीजिए न कितने बजे हैं ?"
वृद्ध सज्जन – "मैं नहीं बताऊँगा."
लड़का – "पर क्यों ?"
वृद्ध सज्जन – "क्योंकि अगर मैं तुम्हे टाइम बता दूंगा तो तुम मुझे थैंक्यू बोलोगे और अपना नाम बताओगे. फिर तुम मेरा नाम, काम आदि पूछोगे. फिर संभव है हम लोग आपस में और भी बातचीत करने लगें. हम दोनों में जान-पहचान हो जायेगी तो हो सकता है कि ट्रेन आने पर तुम मेरी बगल वाली सीट पर ही बैठ जाओ. फिर हो सकता है कि तुम भी उसी स्टेशन पर उतरो जहां मुझे उतरना है. वहाँ मेरी बेटी, जोकि बहुत सुन्दर है, मुझे लेने स्टेशन आयेगी. तुम मेरे साथ ही होगे तो निश्चित ही उसे देखोगे. वह भी तुम्हे देखेगी. हो सकता है तुम दोनों एक दूसरे को दिल दे बैठो और शादी करने की जिद करने लगो. इसलिए भाई, मुझे माफ करो …..! मैं ऐसा कंगाल दामाद नहीं चाहता जिसके पास टाइम देखने के लिए अपनी घडी तक नहीं है … !!!"
फिल्मों में आपने डॉन के भाई या बेटे को पुलिसवालों के सामने हेकड़ी दिखाते शायद देखा हो, पर असल जिंदगी में ऐसा कम ही होता है. असल जिंदगी में पुलिस को खामखाँ की हेकड़ी दिखाना मंहगा पड़ सकता है जैसा कि स्टीफन सुपर्स को पड़ गया.
अमेरिका के ओहियो प्रान्त के एलिरिया शहर में स्टीफन सुपर्स नामक कार चालक को एक पुलिस ऑफिसर ने तेज गति से कार चलाने के कारण रोका. ऑफिसर ने सुपर्स को कार से बाहर आने को कहा और जानना चाहा कि कहीं उसने शराब तो नहीं पी रखी है ?
जानते हैं सुपर्स ने तब क्या किया ? उसने न सिर्फ अपना पिए हुए होना स्वीकार किया बल्कि कार से बोतल निकाल कर चुनौतीपूर्ण अंदाज़ में पुलिस ऑफिसर के सामने ही पीना शुरू कर दिया. पुलिस ऑफिसर यह देखकर एक पल को हतप्रभ रह गया. हालाँकि हुआ वही, जो इतना सब होने के बाद होता; ऑफिसर ने सुपर्स को फ़ौरन गिरफ्तार कर लिया. बाद में उसकी कार की तलाशी ली गई तो उसमें में से मारिजुआना (प्रतिबंधित नशीली दवा) बरामद हुई, जिसे रखना संगीन अपराध की श्रेणी में आता है.
अब सुपर्स के लिए क्या कहा जाय ? चोरी और सीना जोरी या फिर आ बैल मुझे मार ?
सीधे-सादे सच्चे लोग सबको अच्छे लगते हैं लेकिन यदि धंधा टेढ़ा हो तो यही सीधा-सादा सच्चा-पन आपको मुसीबत में डाल सकता है. या तो स्वभाव बदल लें या फिर धंधा बदल लें. उदाहरण के लिए इसी घटना को ले लीजिए.
डलास शहर के वेल्स फ़ार्गो बैंक को नाथन वायने नामक व्यक्ति ने लूटने की कोशिश की. नाथन ने बैंक के कैशिअर को धमकाते हुए नगदी उसके हवाले करने को कहा. कैशिअर ने नगदी सौंपने से पहले उससे वैध पहचान-पत्र दिखाने को कहा, जैसे कि वह अन्य ग्राहकों से कहा करता था. बेचारा भोला-भाला नाथन, उसने किसी भी शरीफ आदमी की तरह एक की जगह दो-दो पहचान-पत्र उस कैशिअर के हवाले कर दिए और नगदी लेकर चलता बना.
कहने की जरूरत नहीं कि पुलिस को नाथन को गिरफ्तार करने में चंद ही मिनटों का समय लगा. "शराफत का तो ज़माना ही नहीं है!" – बेचारा नाथन जेल में शायद यही सोच रहा होगा.
एक आदमी दुकान में गया और पूछने लगा – "क्या आपके यहाँ हर तरह का जानवर मिलता है ?"
दुकानदार बोला – "हाँ"
आदमी बोला – "तो मुझे ७० छिपकलिया, १०० कॉकरोच, १२५ चूहे और २०० खटमल चाहिए."
दुकानदार हैरत से बोला – "भला आपको ऐसे जानवरों का क्या काम?"
आदमी बोला – "मेरा मकान मालिक मुझे घर खाली करने को कह रहा है. कहता है जिस हालत में मकान मिला था, उसी हालत में वापस चाहिए
May 23, 2011
Husband Jokes
ere is only one perfect child in the world
every Mother has it.
every Mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world
every Neighbour has it .
Sent from my Nokia phone
Husband Jokes
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Sent from my Nokia phone
May 22, 2011
HEALTH MESSAGE:
*HEALTH MESSAGE:
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal
.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND *
*YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal
.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND *
*YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!
Sent from my Nokia phone
Jokes
Wife to husband : "How would you describe me?"*
*
*
"You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.
"What does that mean?"
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot."
"Oh, that's so lovely! But what about I, J, K?"
"I'm Just Kidding."*
Sent from my Nokia phone
SMS
Hurting someone is as easy as cutting a tree within a moment.
But making someone happy is like growing a tree
"Takes a lot of time, care & patience"
Sent from my Nokia phone
SMS
Khusi Itni Ho Ki Aap Dikha Sako;
Gam Bas Itna Ho Ki Aap Chhupa Sako;
Zindagi Me Ek Insaan Aisa Rakhna,
Jiske Liye Aap Takleef Me Bhi Muskura Sako.
Sent from my Nokia phone
May 21, 2011
Sardar Jokes
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
"Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?‚
"Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?‚
"Of course, dear, no trouble,‚ she replied.
"But what will you live on?‚
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar jokes
Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?
advise your children about marriage?
Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and
I'll give same advice to my children also.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar jokes
In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name.
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Sardar on phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I'm not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?
Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.
Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months
Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.
Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;-
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar jokes
SARdars Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate "Bachelor Again‚.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is "Married Again‚.
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate "Bachelor Again‚.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is "Married Again‚.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
1 Sardar went to Pizza Hut.
There he ordered a Pizza.
There he ordered a Pizza.
The Waiter asked him:
Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.
Sardar replied:
O 4 hi le aa yaar,
8 to nahin khaye jayein gay.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
2 sardar sit in a coffee shop
1st: "jaldee pee yaar, coffee thandi ho jayai gi"
2nd: "Tu kia?
1st: arey bay waqoof, menu card parh!!!
HOT COFFEE Rs.20/-
&
COLD COFFEE Rs. 40/-
1st: "jaldee pee yaar, coffee thandi ho jayai gi"
2nd: "Tu kia?
1st: arey bay waqoof, menu card parh!!!
HOT COFFEE Rs.20/-
&
COLD COFFEE Rs. 40/-
Sent from my Nokia phone
Sardar Jokes
SARdar's wife: O sardar ji, yeh car
ki speed itni kion barha di…??
ki speed itni kion barha di…??
Sardar ji: oyee car ki break fail ho gayai
hain, is say pehlay k koi accident
ho jayai ghar pohunch jatay hain.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Munna Bhai Jokes
LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!
Sent from my Nokia phone
Munna Bhai Jokes
MUNNA BHAI: circuit agar bina daant wala kutta kate to kya karne ka re?
CIRCUIT:simple he bhai, bina sui wala injection lene ka!!!
ha ha ha.
CIRCUIT:simple he bhai, bina sui wala injection lene ka!!!
ha ha ha.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Munna Bhai Jokes
MUnna bhai:apun ko kaisy pata chalay ga k ye bakra hai ya bakri?"
circuit:"simple bhai ,pathar mar kar dekho,
ager bhaga to bakra
aur ager bhagi to bakri.
circuit:"simple bhai ,pathar mar kar dekho,
ager bhaga to bakra
aur ager bhagi to bakri.
Sent from my Nokia phone
Malik alsi nokar se:- Yahan par itne sare machcher gun-gun kar rahen hai tu unhe maar gira.
Thodi der bad
Malik:- Abe sale nokar ke bachche maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi. Woh ab bhi gun-guna kar rahe hai
Alsi nokar:- Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.
Pehla gadha: Yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoo, vo mujhe bahut marta hai.
Doosra gadha: Tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata
Pehla gadha: Kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut koobsurat ladki hai, vo jab bhi shararat karti hai to dhobi kehta hai ki, teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga.
Bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo
May 18, 2011
Cricket Jokes
IN A Cricket Ground..
Security :
Cricket Match Is Over Now
Why R U Stil Sitting?
Santa:
Oye…Yaar..
I Am Waitin For Highlights!
Security :
Cricket Match Is Over Now
Why R U Stil Sitting?
Santa:
Oye…Yaar..
I Am Waitin For Highlights!
Sent from my Nokia phone
SMS Shayari
Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi….
`
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi….
`
Sent from my Nokia phone
Funny SMS
Darr-darr bhatkate hain armaan ki tarha,
Har koi humse milta hai anjaan ki tarha,
In dosto se call ki kya aas karen,
Ye to SMS bhi karte hain ehsaan ki tarha.
Har koi humse milta hai anjaan ki tarha,
In dosto se call ki kya aas karen,
Ye to SMS bhi karte hain ehsaan ki tarha.
Sent from my Nokia phone
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